Monthly Archives: August 2016

Three Questions to Ask Someone Who May be Considering Abortion

No woman in her right mind ever dreams as a little girl, that one day she will grow up and have an abortion.

Not one.

I usually avoid sweeping statements such as this one in my writing, but I can say this statement with confidence. You would be hard-pressed to convince me this would or could ever be a goal in someone’s life. Has anyone ever wondered why? Why is this not a goal? Why is abortion not looked at as the ultimate for a woman being in control of her own body?

If you are reading this article and you are faced with a pregnancy that has rocked your world, or you are trying to help someone who is facing an unplanned pregnancy, please keep the following questions in mind. These questions are important points to ponder before making such a choice. I’m here to show you facts about the future and living with a past abortion….from personal experience and nearly two decades of working with men and women who chose abortion in their pasts.

1. Have you checked your abortion location and it’s last inspection for cleanliness, botched abortions, and fatalities? 
For example, in Illinois there has been a recent crackdown because of a neighboring state’s abortion clinic being discovered and dubbed a “House of Horrors”. When Illinois started looking into its facilities they found some clinics had not been inspected for 15 years. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/01/20/illinois-abortion-clinic-_n_1219897.html
The “New York Post” reported nail salons in their state were inspected more than abortion clinics. The best record they could find were some of their clinics were being inspected every 4-6 years, the others had not been inspected in more than a decade. Make sure where you intend to go for your abortion has been inspected within the last year and it is a safe place to perform surgery on you. Even if you’re having a chemical abortion and not a surgical one, if they don’t care about the cleanliness of the facility, then it should make you question the standard of care you will receive. Be sure to find out all the details of what is going to happen to you at home (and what you are going to see) if you take a pill to obtain an abortion. While you’re at it, find out also if the doctor has admitting privileges to the nearest hospital. God forbid, but in case something were to go wrong during your surgery he would be able to get you into a hospital.
http://nypost.com/2014/04/07/health-department-fails-to-regularly-inspect-abortion-clinics/
And again in my home state of Tennessee, here is a link to the testimony showing clinics are not licensed or regulated in any way.

In all fairness I looked for an article that shed a positive light or gave me some hope that a state somewhere was touting their abortion clinics as safe and clean. I couldn’t find one. You have plenty of clinics making that claim, but be sure to look further at state reports that are neutral on this subject and see what is said.

2. Have you talked with women who have experienced abortion and women who have had their child under stressful, less than perfect circumstances, and considered which group lives with the most shame and regret?
This is the best way to find out the truth of what the future holds. Here are some questions to consider to help along the way. What have others experienced who have gone before you? How many of these mothers who chose life for their children live with thoughts and feelings of shame and regret? How many of these mothers who chose abortion for their children live in a state of shame and regret? Out of the mothers who chose life, how many of them wish they could go back and make a different decision? Out of the mothers who chose death how many of them wish they could go back and make a different decision? The show, “Sex and the City” had an episode one time that a friend of mine told me I had to watch. I was so glad I did. One of the girls (Miranda) on the show got pregnant and wasn’t married. Another girl (Carrie) told her she had a past abortion and she would go with her to the clinic. Miranda wrestled with the decision and ultimately chose abortion. Carrie accompanied her to the clinic and was answering questions about the surgery to her friend. One of the questions from Miranda was, “Did you ever get over your abortion?” Carrie’s answer was very telling. “Any day now I might”. This last statement is an insight I have seen many times with girls who have past abortions. Now I understand this is just a television show, but it accurately depicts what I have seen in men and women for years. It’s not something you ever “get over”. On the show, Miranda ended up leaving the clinic and choosing life for her child. Another accurate portrayal of what we see every day through abortion recovery. When people learn the truth, they are freed from a future of shame and regret and are thankful they chose life for their child.

3. Have you thought about the future you at 30, 40, and 50 years old? 
I just turned 51 years old. I had an abortion when I was 19. At that age I only thought about the moment I was in, as well as thinking only of myself. I didn’t consider others, not even the father of my child. I quickly learned at 19 that even though I thought I was in a strong, committed relationship, after the abortion it lasted about 2 weeks. By the time I was 30 I had 2 small children and had to tell my husband about my past abortion. It was a grueling night with many tears and fear of losing my family. By 40 I had to tell my children of the abortion and see the pain and disappointment in their eyes. I also had to tell my family for fear they would find out from others. My sisters have grieved their niece for many years and the fact I didn’t come to them for help during that time in my life. Now at 51 my boys are 26 and 28 years old, and I should have a daughter turning 30 in October. My arms literally long to hold grandchildren. I believe there are supposed to be grandchildren in my family this very moment that I am missing out on because I chose abortion. No one ever told me to consider that not only was I ending the one life growing inside me, but I was also ending my future bloodline through that child. Think about it.

These are just 3 points of many to consider when contemplating abortion. I am not here to tell you how bad you are or heap more guilt on you for thinking about this choice. I’m just wanting you to think about more than what is right in front of you; what may seem as the easy way out…isn’t. If you are pregnant and reading this, you are already a mother and what is growing inside you is already a human being. You are literally deciding if you are going to be the mother of a living child or a dead one. I know that sounds harsh, but these are the facts that must be considered. These are the facts no one told me. These are the facts that I and millions of women AND men are living with daily.

If you are someone who works to protect life, please feel free to share this letter on social media, as well as with your friends. Together we can save others from making the same mistake myself and countless men and women have made…and lived to regret.

I would love to hear from you. Please write me in the comments below, or you can send me an email to info@saveone.org. I want to help you any way that I can. You can also check out our website at www.saveone.org.

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God’s blessings on you!

Sheila L. Harper

Founder and President

SaveOne